Death is SO Final…
..I have spent the last 2 and a half months trying to be ‘NORMAL’ as everyone keeps putting it but the over whelming emotion I feel is ANGER…red and searing anger…I dont understand what the big deal is about normal and why I should follow it…I try and spend 15 hrs a day being productive and the rest 9 crying incessantly….I dont show the weakness to anyone then why do I have to show you NORMAL…whatever that means…so yes I am screwed up..perhaps for life and unlike most people where tragedy brings families and friends together, in my case I withdraw more and the dark place I go to destroys everything and everyone…my need to be family,friend,lover is in the negative and all i want to do is make you prove yourself to me till I think what you have done is enough..selfish yes but then i will never win a award for reasonable,warm and fuzzy so why bother now?
I have a great family..i have a few considerate friend and I have a partner in training but its just NOT good enough!!
I just want my dad back!!I just want him back..everything else is just placebo
The pain is getting deeper and I dont know how long I will last like this!!
I am absolutely useless to everyone around me….everyone!!
I just want him back!!Noone GETS me anymore…noone!!Not one person in this person and I feel disconnected from everything and everyone
Hollowed out!!
